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these days

17 November 2012


these days, it's been getting cold, prompting us to pull down the wool blankets and exchange the cotton sheets for flannel. ever since our mattress warranty claim was settled and we got the brand new oh-so luxurious replacement mattress, we've been spending A LOT of time in bed. we climb in early at night, where we finish our days out together, and i stay in bed as long as possible in the morning after andrew leaves for work, drinking coffee and starting work from beneath the layers of blankets as i snuggle with the animals. i swear that they conspire to keep me there.

these days, i've been doing my work from the dining room table (when i'm not in bed, that is). it's a large, unfinished pine wood space overlooking the kitchen and beside the sliding balcony doors that look out onto the backyard. i draw the curtains to let the light in and i draw them to shut out the dark. the heavy cotton floral curtains given to us from my wonderful mother-in-law. they are like an embodiment of her: traditional with a modern flair, rustic, whimsy, beautiful, spirited. being in their company makes me feel loved, safe, and ever-inspired. 

these days, i have been focusing almost single-mindedly on my dissertation project (almost, because there are of course endless distractions that keep me from absolute devotion to my work and thus from full productivity). i find my mind wandering, dreaming, and thinking about all the things. 

These days I seem to think a lot
About the things that I forgot to do
And all the times I had the chance to.

(Nico, "These Days")

i spread my projects and desires across the surface of the wood table from which i work, but even as i actively so so - all day, every day, day in & day out - there are always things i never get to. i drink cups of lady grey tea and stage still lives. i play with the cats and take their portraits. i collect books for research and books for pleasure, for moments of rapture and escape, for moments often overlooked or forgotten. i am distracted by my surroundings; in a room of my own.

these days, i muse about having a real digital SLR camera, but for now i make do with my old Nikon point-and-shoot, my iPhone, and the brilliant editing software designed by Visual Supply Co.


portraits of the majestic, stoic, and ever-handsome, Dr. Hunter S. Thomcat. he's been a little displeased that Glasgow has been stealing all the attention here lately. he's also developed some slight attitude problems adjusting to the new kitten (jealous? inconceivable!), so i thought i would give him a prominent spot here. he has been such a central part of our lives over the past six years, he really does deserve it.


the joys of adopting a young kitten: they're ever-so sweet but also full of SO MUCH TROUBLE. introducing, for the first time, Little Miss Virginia Woolf. she's slowly finding her place in the family and even gets to participate in group snuggles in the morning now.


this week i posted about the early morning and my new relationship to it. as difficult as it can be to get out of bed some mornings, the beauty that awaits is always worth it. yesterday morning's frost was truly exquisite, making the whole yard glow with a white frosted mist warmed by the golden sun.


still lives:

1. andrew has been bringing home lots of moose antler sheds from the bush lately, adding to our ever-growing collection. this particular white-tailed deer skull and antlers is one that we brought back from Alberta two years ago. it has been hanging around the past couple weeks waiting for us to hang it on the wall, but i have been enjoying its company.

2. sweet little Herriott Grace cake flags leftover from our wedding + a gorgeous knitted short-sleeve shirt, made in Canada, that i recently thrifted.

3. lady grey tea in one of my favourite vintage teacups and an old teapot from my Nana. perfection.


collected works:

1. good night, day: modern & minimalist knitting patterns, by tara-lynn morrison. first edition.
2. A Pictorial History of Wilderness, poems by Laressa Dickey & published by MIEL.
3. Penguin Books "Great Ideas" edition of Virginia Woolf's A Room of One's Own.
4. The Anatomy of Clay, poems by Gillian Sze.
5. issue no.1 of Sad Girls, a lovely little illustrated zine made by girls who make things and have lots of feelings.
6. A Guide to the Northwest Territory, poems by Josh Wallaert, also from MIEL.


collected works no.2 (on hysteria):

1. Aura Hysterica: Les exercises de la passion (1992), an artist's book by Montreal artist Nicole Jolicoeur.
2. Georges Didi-Huberman's The Invention of Hysteria: Charcot and the Photographic Iconography of the Salpêtrière.
3. The Hysterical Alphabet, text by Terri Kapsalis with drawings by Gina Litherland.
4. Nicole Jolicoeur's Traité de la perfection (1996).

love poems

14 February 2012

i have never been one to celebrate Valentine's day. i don't fully boycott or denounce it, but i don't willingly embrace it either. ever the romantics, andrew and i regularly make gestures to show our love in both subtle and bold ways. i much prefer to be surprised by unexpected love notes, "love you" gifts, and other small but thoughtful acts of love than to be unnecessarily showered with gifts and sentiments on one designated day. when the mood strikes, however, i do sometimes spoil andrew or my close friends with a little Valentine's love. i have a soft spot for paper goods and hand-written love letters.

so to celebrate love in the tradition of the written word rather than in images or material goods, i thought i would share two of my favourite love poems from two entirely different traditions, although both are equally charged with sensuality and earthly passion. the first poem is by Naubel Laureate Pablo Neruda, translated from its original Spanish by Donald. D. Walsh. the second is the twelfth and final chapter from Sanskrit poet Jayadeva's twelfth-century lyrical poem, the Gita Govinda, which tells of the divine love of the Hindu deity Krishna and Radha, his favourite gopi or cowherd girl. this excerpt is from Barbara Stoler Miller's 1977 translation, Love Song of the Dark Lord: Jayadeva's Gita Govinda.


YOUR HANDS

When your hands go out,
love, toward mine
what do they bring me flying?
Why did they stop
at my mouth, suddenly,
why do I recognize them
as if then, before,
I had touched them,
as if before they existed
they had passed over
my forehead, my waist?

Their softness came
flying over time,
over the sea, over the smoke,
over the spring,
and when you placed
your hands on my chest,
I recognized those golden
dove wings,
I recognized that clay
and that color of wheat.

All the years of my life
I walked around looking for them.
I went up the stairs,
I crossed the roads,
trains carried me,
waters brought me,
and in the skin of the grapes
I thought I touched you.
The wood suddennly
brought me your touch,
the almond announced to me
your secret softness,
until your hands
closed on my chest
and there like two wings
they ended their journey.



THE TWELFTH PART

Ecstatic Krishna 


When her friends had gone,
Smiles spread on Radha's lips
While love's deep fantasies
Struggled with her modesty.
Seeing the mood in Radha's heart,
Hari spoke to his love;
Her eyes were fixed
On his bed of buds and tender shoots.             


The Twenty-third Song, sung with Raga '"Vibhasa"

Leave lotus footprints on my bed of tender shoots, loving Radha! Let my place be ravaged by your tender feet!
    Narayana is faithful now. Love me, Radhika!                     

I stroke your foot with my lotus hand—You have come far.
Set your golden anklet on my bed like the sun.
     Narayana is faithful now. Love me, Radhika!              

Consent to my love; let elixir pour from your face!
To end our separation I bare my chest of the silk that bars your breast.
     Narayana is faithful now. Love me, Radhika!                  

Throbbing breasts aching for loving embrace are hard to touch.
Rest these vessels on my chest! Quench love's burning fire!
     Narayana is faithful now. Love me, Radhika!            

Offer your lips' nectar to revive a dying slave, Radha!
His obsessed mind and listless body burn in love's d/desolation.
     Narayana is faithful now. Love me, Radhika!                      

Radha, make your jeweled girdle cords echo the tone of your voice!
Soothe the long torture my ears have suffered from cuckoo's shrill cries!
     Narayana is faithful now. Love me, Radhika!                      

Your eyes are ashamed now to see me tortured by baseless anger;
Glance at me and end my passion's despair!
     Narayana is faithful now. Love me, Radhika!                   

Each verse of Jayadeva's song echoes the delight of Madhu's foe.
Let emotion rise to a joyful mood of love in sensitive men!
      Narayana is faithful now. Love me, Radhika!  


Displaying her passion
In loveplay as the battle began,
She launched a bold offensive
Above him
And triumphed over her lover.
Her hips were still,
Her vine-like arm was slack,
Her chest was heaving,
Her eyes were closed.
Why does a mood of manly force
Succeed for women in love ?


The Twenty-fourth Song, sung with Raga "Ramakari”

Yadava hero, your hand is cooler than sandalbalm on my breast;
Paint a leaf design with deer musk here on Love's ritual vessel!
     She told the joyful Yadu hero, playing to delight her heart.    

Lover, draw kohl glossier than a swarm of black bees on my eyes!
Your lips kissed away the lampblack bow that shoots arrows of Love.
     She told the joyful Yadu hero, playing to delight her heart.      

My ears reflect the restless gleam of doe eyes, graceful Lord.
Hang earrings on their magic circles to form snares for love.
     She told the joyful Yadu hero, playing to delight her heart.      

Pin back the teasing lock of hair on my smooth lotus face!
It fell before me to mime a gleaming line of black bees.
     She told the joyful Yadu hero, playing to delight her heart.      

Make a mark with liquid deer musk on my moonlit brow!
Make a moon shadow, Krishna! The sweat drops are dried.
     She told the joyful Yadu hero, playing to delight her heart.       

Fix flowers in shining hair loosened by loveplay, Krishna!
Make a flywhisk outshining peacock plumage to be the banner of Love.
     She told the joyful Yadu hero, playing to delight her heart.        

My beautiful loins are a deep cavern to take the thrusts of love—
Cover them with jeweled girdles, cloths, and ornaments, Krishna!
She told the joyful Yadu hero, playing to delight her heart.     

Make your heart sympathetic to Jayadeva's splendid speech!
Recalling Hari's feet is elixir against fevers of this dark time.
     She told the joyful Yadu hero, playing to delight her heart.     

"Paint a leaf on my breasts!
Put color on my cheeks!
Lay a girdle on my hips!
Twine my heavy braid with flowers!
Fix rows of bangles on my hands
And jeweled anklets on my feet!"
Her yellow-robed lover
Did what Radha said.                                           

His musical skill, his meditation on Vishnu,
His vision of reality in the erotic mood,
His graceful play in these poems,
All show that master-poet Jayadeva's soul
Is in perfect tune with Krishna—
Let blissful men of wisdom purify the world
By singing his Gitagovinda.    

                               

these days

23 January 2012



this year’s January
has been a series
of starts and stops,
with seemingly
more stops
than starts.

all the self-expectations
and -pressure
to begin anew:

new year,
fresh start,
ready, set, go!

and stumble,
and sometimes tumble,
and fall.

i feel like my life
has been on hold,
divided in two
without being
fully present
in either one.

yet amidst,
it is the little things,
bits and pieces
still unbroken
and the subtle curiosities
that carry on.

carry me on
and drive me forward,
one more day,
day after day.

and so it is,
these days.


CREDITS

books featured:
Menagerie by Sharon Montrose, with illustrations and lettering by Julianna Swaney
The Native Trees of Canada by Leanna Shapton

26 - bibliophile: book darts

20 June 2011


as i have already mentioned, i am currently studying (i.e. reading a large amount of books and articles over the summer) for my PhD comprehensive exams. while passing through Ottawa last weekend to visit andrew, we stopped at Lee Valley Tools, where i finally purchased a tin of book dartsthe most incredible little page and line markers ever! after getting repeatedly frustrated with paper flags and the amount of waste they produce, i jumped at the opportunity to snag these elegant paper-thin bronze reusable markers. they are unobstrusive and book-friendly; they slide onto the page easily, stay securily in place, do not leave any marks, and are infinitely reusable. made in the USA, they have lasting value for any reader who wants to reclaim a great phrase or mark an important section of a book. as a researcher, they are my new favourite, must-have tool, but they are useful for anyone looking to make reading more effective (and enjoyable!). i find them so magnificent and delightful!

books featured:

Lorraine Daston and Peter Galison, Objectivity (New York: Zone Books, 2007). 
Jackie Stacey, Teratologies: A Cultural Study of Cancer (London and New York: Routledge, 1997).

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